i think if u try to weaponize a trans person’s agab u should be raked over hot coals actually. this applies both to “trans women are more likely to be misogynistic bc of their agab” and also “trans men cling to their agab to maintain victimhood” bc both are two sides of the same coin that is “maleness makes you inherently misogynistic and femaleness makes you a perpetual victim” and i would like y’all to take one guess where that coin was minted.
I’ll probably add to these thoughts later but I feel like the way that transandrophobia or transmisandry or whatever you choose to call it mainly operates is by making itself confusing in order to make it extremely hard to actually pin down and call out. We’re treated as women when it’s convenient to leverage misogyny against us and treated as privileged men if we call it out, but we’re also treated as hysterical women when it becomes convenient to ignore our concerns. We’re treated as evil disgusting faggots and trannies to be exterminated, as predatory men who want to make the “good” men have sex with us, but we don’t even get the benefit of being seen as fully male. This is the intersection at which we lie, and the intersection that we’ve decided to call transandrophobia.
When it’s convenient, we’re treated as hyper-emotional whiny women with no agency, but when it’s also convenient, we’re predatory males who just have something wrong with them. And when the transandrophobe finds that the time is right, they treat us like some strange creature that is neither male nor female, either to be fucked or to be exterminated; often both. We’re just objects to be fucked until we show any interest in a man; then, we’re predators, almost like we’re from another planet, preying on the poor helpless males. And when we show interest in a woman? Well, I can’t speak on this myself since I am gay, but from what I have seen from listening to other transmascs? We’ve become predatory men trying to prey on poor cis women, but we still know nothing about the world and should shut up and let the real men speak for us.
And when we ask for one thing, to simply be able to speak, we are both aggressive privileged males preying on helpless women and hysterical women crying about nothing at the same time. Every word we say can and will be held against us because the truth of what the world thinks of us is that whether they admit it or not they think that we are less than human. And they will use whatever tactic they have, every tool of oppression, to remind us that we are not. Every day that we exist in this world as transmasculine people we are told that we are something nonhuman, something that needs to be killed. But we are also told every day that we exist in this world that none of this is real. That we’re crazy, that we’re lying, that we’re just hysterical privileged women who need to shut up and let others do the talking for us.
Your not friendly reminder that cops stole more monetary value then all burglaries in 2020, and that is only dwarfed by time theft by American businesses.
If you have a problem with “thugs looting”, start here.
The whole transandrophobia/transmisandry fight is so cyclical. People will be like “it’s not misandry trans men face, cause misandry isn’t real. If anything what you experience is misogyny.” Ohhhh so it’s an intersection of transphobia and misogyny? Is there a word for that? And then people race to say “no no no that’s not what I meant. Trans men don’t face transmisogyny.” Why? Either they do and you don’t wanna let them use that word because reasons, or they DONT and need to come up with a new word to describe their unique experiences……which they did…
also like. while i don’t generally use one particular term or another to describe my experiences, i think people’s aversion to having a specific term for this particular intersection of transphobia and misogyny is because if we name it, they can be “accused of” it. a lot of people are more worried about being labeled as something than they are of actually being harmful to minorities. which has been a problem in progressive spaces for forever. racial and ethnic minorities have been dealing with this shit constantly. like people don’t actually care if they’re being racist or antisemitic, they care if they’re perceived as or called racist or antisemitic. so they bend over backward to refute the claim instead of just not being racist or antisemitic. and their first line of defense is always always semantics.
Good food.
Also it’s the thing that keeps happening and then people go “okay but that doesn’t actually happen” when you look like 3 posts down my blog to it actively happening to me and that is:
“Trans men don’t need to use a word like transandrophobia or transmisandry or isomisogyny or antimasculism or antitransmasculinism or transmascphobia (note how many different words there are for the same concept because we keep being told whatever flavor we’re using this week isn’t good enough) because what trans men ACTUALLY experience is transphobia and misogyny”
Me: okay, so in this way I have experienced misogyny
“ACTUALLY trans men DON’T experience misogyny because only women experience misogyny so it’s JUST transphobia”
Me: okay, so in this way I have experienced transphobia
“ACTUALLY trans men have the Trans Experience ™ on easy mode so it’s hardly qualifiable as transphobia because other people have it worse”
Me: okay, so in this way I have experienced a specific combination of misogyny and transphobia when I-
“ACTUALLY trans men don’t experience transphobia at all, trans men are privileged and are just trying to paint themselves as victims due to their culturally christian white woman tears, really you should let someone else talk about these things because everyone knows trans men are accepted and celebrated unlike other trans people”
Me: okay, I’m going to talk about a specific experience I had without using any of the above words, discussing an actual point of violence that happened to me not that long ago
“ACTUALLY this is just a chronically online white take, go outside and touch grass, learn the theory, speak to others, I think we need someone who is not you to weigh in on this”
It always *always* leads back here. Not always by the same people. But the argument is so cyclical and done to death that at this point not only is it transparent but also completely laughable. It’s never good enough. It’s never going to be good enough. And I’m tired of explaining to people who are committed to misunderstanding the concept.
didn’t even make it all the way through the article. it’s yet another whiny internet person who’s mad at people for rocking the boat and demanding the wider trans community reject gender essentialism and prioritize intersectionality in our fight for liberation. and that’s not the kind of person i want to devote a single second of my life to anymore.
wow holy shit that’s horrific. good breakdown but jesus christ sometimes i’m surprised by how much other trans ppl hate us and how utterly disconnected they are from our experiences.
Shout-out to Ao3 for not only being transparent in the work they’re doing to try to get the site running, but for IMMEDIATELY calling out any islamophobia. They’re doing fucking WORK rn, all on a volunteer basis, and while most of the comments I’ve seen are far and away supportive I just know whoever is in charge of their socials is watching the comments section unfold with a migraine.
Anyway this is all to say I love Ao3 and the people working on it rn are dealing with absolute chaos, so the next time someone throws out a line about “why do they need a fundraiser every year” please remember today.
